Everything in life has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And what we live out is a whole lotta middle.
Being in the middle is about integrating, transition, being in the sh*t, and asking yourself: what do you want to experience while you’re there? These are my favorite conversations to have on a personal and professional level – so juicy!!
I’m realizing on my journey that I get so focused on (and sometimes attached to) the ending of each story that I completely forget to enjoy the middle – LIFE!!!. Can I get a hell yeah?!
I hear this forgetfulness a lot! It’s common, even normal, for us to feel urged to get to the end. The end of a race, or a project, or a goal. We break down life into little, manageable bits, and try to finish them so we get…what? A certain outcome? We have a whole lotta life to live; why not practice the craft of living in this space instead of bringing our attention and focus to the outcome all the time? You can break the middle parts down all you like, but the fact is, one day we will all die (the end!), and they will throw dirt on our faces. What do you want to experience while you’re on this planet? What do you want to leave behind? How do you want to be remembered?
Surprise surprise, dealing with this is a learning process. We’re all learning the craft of living, and sometimes it’s complicated. I’ve been trying to get to a place where I don’t feel obligated to feel a particular way about my journey, or how it looks. I can love it or hate it or think it’s messy or pretty or…anything. Sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes it’s easy.
One of the tough times came up during a recent conversation I was having with my business consultant. (Yes, I hire people to make me very uncomfortable, and to hold space for all my creative ideas, and thoughts I have. Otherwise I would walk around a hot mess, lol…) I was deep in an embodiment practice, tears rolling down my face, and she looked me dead in the eye and asked, “Do you look at life as a gift?” Of course, I cried more and said I have no f*ing idea… No, right now I don’t.
By asking that question when I was so set on things being hard, she turned my story around and brought my truth to the surface. And, like any good healer/teacher, she let me stew in it. She didn’t save me. And thank God, the universe, mother earth (insert whatever makes sense to you), because I was finally able to be pulled out of my old narrative and start looking at my life as a gift. And that gift is filled with tons and tons of experiences in this so-called middle we know as life.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a week later, before a session, my Zero Balancing teacher told me when on any journey the learning isn’t in the answer, it’s in the question. I want to ask my life questions that call me to treat it as a gift. And I ask you, what’s your question? What do you want to learn, experience, and witness while you’re in a body here on earth?
My question to myself is, what is my higher level of integrity? How do I want to honor myself, here now in this 35-year-old body? By asking myself this every day for the past month I’ve been able to witness my inner joy burst out of me. The experience of being truly in the moment, deep belly laughs, cooking a meal for my family, and moving my body. I had to dig deep down underneath my year of depression (yes I still have a hard time admitting this), feeling lost, and completely confused around what my purpose is, I finally can see me again!!
Gaining access to the juiciness inside of me is truly a gift. It’s been such a great reminder that we are always on our path, but that path is not a straight line. It has curves, twists, and turns, and to me these are the precious moments I want to say yes to. These are the moments where we grow, expand and feel the contrast of life. This is where the master craftsman is made as we practice, alter, correct, and practice again.
Being in a self exploratory conversation isn’t always easy, but it is where the edge of you drops off and truly living begins.
What’s your question? What life are you crafting?
